Letter to Jack Nicholson

Dear Mr. Nicholson,

Hi. My name is Sharon Porter. I'm 15 (Don't you just love the beginnings of fan letters?) I've never been a real "fan" before, so I hope I'm doing this right. I keep getting these visions of boxes of mail at your doorstep every day, that are sorted through, scanned, and tossed out by a small panel of employees. But since this letter has actually reached you, I guess I'm wrong.

I know what you're thinking, now. You're thinking: "Isn't it about time she talked about the difference I've made in her life?" Funny, because I was just about to tell you that you're my favorite actor. It's remarkable that you've been cast in so many diverse roles. But the ultimate role for me was Eugene O'Neil in "Reds". I can't explain why, but there's something there that motivates me to want to see the movie every time it comes to town (only 8 times, so far, but that's pretty good for a 3 1/3 hour film). But it's not just "Reds" that I'm hooked on. I'd see "The Border", "Five Easy Pieces", "The Shining", "The Postman Always Rings Twice", "King of Marvin Gardens", or anything else you've been in a thousand times, and that wouldn't be enough. You are an easy person to overdose on.

Perhaps someday, we will meet each other. I plan to become a writer and a college teacher of philosophy. What I want most in life, tho, is to be able to express myself. I'd try acting, but I'm not sure that'd be my best outlet. I'd try politics, but I'm not into compromise and half-truths. What I really want is for people to come up to me and ask me what I feel about such and such; be it life, God, third world hunger, the Jack Nicholson movie I saw last night, whatever. I want people to want to know my opinion. Because I think I have something worthwhile to contribute. So who knows, Mr. Nicholson (may I call you Jack?)? Perhaps you ought to keep my signature. You never know what might happen.

Oh, but back to being a fan, again:

If it wouldn't be too much trouble, I would absolutely die over a picture of you. You may sign it if you wish, but don't feel any big obligation.

Well, I hope to see a letter from you soon. If not, I will assume that you feel I'm not worth responding to. Your loss would be as great as mine. Except that you wouldn't feel it. I wish you the best in life, and hope you will receive it well.

Peace, Love, and Happiness,

Sharon Porter

P.S. I'm sorry if I haven't quite been myself in this letter (even tho you wouldn't know who I really am), but it's very hard trying to impress someone who I'm so totally overwhelmed by. I hope I did okay.

(approx. 1982)