Child of the New Day

Sweet, sweet child

with large, innocent eyes

and radiant smile

inquisitive mind

come, tell me your secret

let me capture a ray of your sunshine

Child of the morning star,

how is it that you perceive so well

what we see as complex and impossible?

if I could only gain some of your insight

if I could only see through your eyes

just after noon, you are at your peak,

dancing with the daffodils

and singing for me to come join

if only I could,

I'd be there in a second!

but I must be reasonable

I must think of war and politics

this is truth, to me

Summertime sunset child

lay your warm glow before me

let me catch the last glimmer of another

fleeting day

you have still not revealed to me

the source of youth's insight

why won't you do this one favor for me?

but children don't understand such obligations

you dance before me

but will not let me in!

how can you be so peaceful

in this turbulent world?

Child of the moon

reflecting daytime's glow

how happily you sleep!

don't you know of all the

suffering in the world

how can it not touch you?

alas, my child,

sleep well

tomorrow, you will understand reality

tomorrow, you will be aware of life's

injustices

Child of a new day

don't make humanity's mistakes

keep that warm, innocent glow

never,

never stop dancing among the flowers!

perhaps someday,

I might join you again,

but today,

I must carry banners

and be careful in love

and be cynical towards the leaders

of the people

I must fight for your future

so that you may always carry

the light

I never had time for

Sweet, sweet child

yours is the sunshine that

may melt the ice

and warm the world once again...

- Jan. 30, 1984, A.D.

Every Season Hurts: A Melodrama

Day after day

the leaves fall and blow across the road 

Why they fall is no matter

that they fall is important

I am crushed like a leaf under the foot of life

pay no mind to my tears

Day after day

the snow falls and sweeps through the air

like a silent angel

but the wind bites at eyes and ears

I melt like that snow

becoming grey and washing down the gutter

pay no mind to my tears

Day after day

the rain falls on the sidewalk 

and beats 

heavily 

against every new blade of grass

the thunder drums and rolls along the sky

I am like the rain,

accumulating mud and sweeping over 

the ground

pay no mind to my tears

Day after day

the sun falls down into the horizon

but the heat remains

the leaves of the trees whisper in the hot wind

I am like the sun

living in the memory of yesterday's 

brilliant sunset

pay no mind to my tears

Day after day 

my life falls 

like two suicidal lovers

down the cliff of life

they clench each other as they

fall to their death

but one survives

although broken and bloody,

she still lives

only one lover is always doomed to survive

in my life

pay no mind to my tears

- Jan. 26, 1984, A.D.

She is me

Shy eye 

but it does not conceal

what she would have revealed

a sigh

released under her breath

is just the sign of inner death

and slowly she walks

and slowly she speaks

and lonely she is

she is me

across the room,

her heart trips over

a stepping stone

she looks up in hopes

that I did not hear

sorry, I thought,

it wasn't my right

I won't do it again

and slowly she walks

and slowly she speaks

and lonely she is

she is me

across the room,

a teardrop falls

and she looks up in hopes

that I did not see

sorry, I thought,

I'll look away next time

her soul is fluttering between 

two places

between laughter, smiles, familiar faces

and the deep dark tunnels 

where there are only traces

of lost memories and tears

and slowly she walks

and slowly she speaks

and lonely she is

she is me

painfully, I set out to tear down the wall

I stand up and walk through

the barrier between us

she's surprised

not angry

not scared

not annoyed

but surprised

I smile at her and think,

she is me

I must tear down walls

within me

how strange it is

and how familiar

and slowly she walks

and slowly she speaks

and lonely she is

she is me

shy eye

but it does not conceal

what she would have revealed

a sigh

released under her breath

is just the sign of inner death

as I confront her,

she is relieved 

she sees what I have seen

a wall broken down

confidence built up

she had been lost,

confused

now she's been found by herself -

by me

and slowly she walks

and slowly she speaks

and lonely she is

she is me

- Jan. 17, 1984

Lady Death

Death -

so close to me

yet such a stranger -

takes a long, thin, white finger

and draws an invisible line down my back,

touching off each nerve along the way

It's cold

I flinch

yet somehow it invigorates me

I won't look back,

nor can I

Although death whispers to me,

I tease her

letting her come close enough to touch -

but not grasp -

any part of me

as long as there is the space there 

to laugh,

I know I'm safe

In my dreams,

she nears closer,

but awake, I hold strong

against her;

not fearful,

only amused

But death has other plans for me, yet

she also laughs

Every once in a while, we sit down in a 

smoke-filled room

and play poker

and joke that the winner takes 

my life

but death is a terrible poker player

I never worry

There was a time, once, 

when I confronted death

I told her that she might as well 

have me, now

she told me, 

honestly,

she didn't want to see it happen

our games together had been

too much fun

she talked me out of it

sometimes, even she is reasonable

Death holds no secrets from me

and there are no surprises

when she wants me, I will go

I can't argue, when she's let me come this far

Some say they are ruled by faith 

or hope

or high ideals

but I am the best friend of death

she is a gray and awesome woman

and knows things that I should never

hope to know

but she provides the life in me

When she holds out her hand,

I will take it

I will trust her judgement

and when she finally calls my name,

I will follow...

- Jan. 17, 1984, A.D.

Most influential albums

Beatles - Sgt. Pepper, White Album, Let it Be

Bowie - Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust

Blondie - Parallel Lines

Duran Duran - Seven & the Ragged Tiger

Gary Numan - Pleasure Principle

Pink Floyd - The Wall

Peter Gabriel - 3rd Album (Mercury)

Cat Stevens - Tea for the Tillerman

Don McLean - American Pie

John Lennon - Shaved Fish

Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bullocks

Byrne-Eno - My Life in the Bush of Ghosts

Dead Kennedys - In God We Trust, Inc.

Brian Eno - Before and After Science

Duran Duran - Rio

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Sesame Street Album [not kidding!]

Tribute to a Candle

memories fall

like rain

down the windowpane

listen to the music

see the pictures

hear the words of past conversations

watch the candle as it burns down the years of my life

every object

holds a memory

every word spoken

reminds me of times past

every dark corner

represents the dark corners in me

listen to the silence

the wind hits the glass windows

this night is timeless

I am a glazed doll

kept alive by the heartbeat

of a previous day

are you there?

yes, you are there

you feel it too

the candle holds us in

and keeps us still in time

you are here

but we don't know where we are

there goes another year before our eyes

and where has it taken us?

farther from each other

further from what we know

how many candles have there been before?

we are still in fluid time

I feel spirits within me 

that are not of this world

you are one of them -

the missing link

so close, yet so far

I look,

not surprised to see you in the candle

are you happy? 

even though it isn't the same?

I usually am

the music soothes me

and helps me forget

a third year goes by

what a time it was, huh?

and when will it ever come again?

in the fourth year comes the pain

of separation

I see many good-byes and

few hellos

hello, friend

we begin the fifth year

what is to come?

and what is to pass?

where will it take us?

more broken dreams, crushed fantasies?

more tears?

yes, more tears

I have a lot of things to comfort me

but they don't make up for you

my heart has a crack down the side

which, every once in a while

makes me skip a beat

another year goes by

and I'm getting more skilled at hurting

another year goes by

and haven't we aged?

now, you've got love

now, I've got poems

and the strength to be alone

memories of a sunny day

warm me inside

memories of a day when the world 

was at my feet

and not down my throat

a day when I could easily tell

what was real

and what was illusion

it was simple!  illusions didn't cast shadows

but I've been deceived again

another year goes by

every day is another drop of wax

down the candle

marking the distance between us, now

I put out the candle

and hope for the best

what else can I do?

and another year goes by

- Jan 11., 1984, A.D.

Poems Call

a little voice from the back of my mind calls me

"put away the homework", it says

"write a poem instead."

I am so tempted!

but I must push on, I must push on

work first, poems later

every once in a while,

the voice comes back

and I sigh

and I force myself to ignore it

I take three deep breaths and turn back

to the textbook

but alas!

it's too much

poems call

and I come skipping after,

pencil in hand,

to conquer a new thought

so much for homework

but so much the better

- Jan. 11, 1984, A.D.

Autobiography

There is a crack in the dam

and water is streaming out

it won't be long before the dam breaks

It's losing its foundation

and it's trembling from the pressure

the people have tried everything

to no avail

Someone,

go wake up the villages below!

Get them away before it's too late

It's just a matter of time, now

- Jan. 5, 1984, A.D.

Impatient

12:00

boredom set in

it could be another existence

it could be another state of mind

but it's all the same

futile dreams 

of a dying youth

a vicious circle pulls me under

pull me down, friend?

I'd like to see you try

they tell me not to do this

am I two extremes?

see me by day, and there's an unreal glow

but on the weekends -

is this just one of those days?

See the dreams

they burn into my soul

the only thing I don't have patience with is success

it's not that I want it, now

but I want to know it will happen

I could reach a place that would keep me

sidetracked, and happy enough to forget

but I am youth

I want a piece of the world

I feel an element of urgency

something is amiss

I'm a dreamer -

but I'm getting somewhere, aren't I?

further than the others, no?

I can't get by by the light alone

it takes strength

and skill

perhaps I could sleep my way to the top

but think of the mornings after

and I'd rather not be remembered by how good 

I was in bed

that doesn't make an album

the only time I want to be yours is on stage,

thank you

(approx. 1984)

Sharon's Thesis (Note to Dad)

I need sleep.

I.  Supporting points

A. didn't get much last night

B. homework done in school

II. Business to be done before I crash

A. eat

1. I'm not hungry

2. if I get so hungry it wakes me up, I can get my own 

food, thanks

B. see pink paper - I need a cheque for $16

C. I have to make up a few points for P.E.

1. I can make up these points by going in early - be at 

school by 7:00

2. can I have the car?

a. if so, I need to be up by 6:05 (yikes)

b. if not, 6:45 as usual

D. I'm delirious

1. don't wake me up unless house is on fire [originally 

wrote "until" house is on fire, but scratched it out]

2. I guess I'll feed the cats, now

E. I bet I got an A on the test, tho

F. I also had a quarter vocabulary test and got an A and had 

some pop quizzes and got some good grades and lived 

till the end of the day

III. Goodnight

Photos, 1984

Above: with Carrie

Below: me in my room