I'd Rather Smoke

[note:  if there was ever a tune for these lyrics, I don't remember them.]

I walked out on the street

I walked this way and that

I tried to think of a reason

why you treat me so bad

I went on down to the store

and bought a bottle of Jack

(spoken) Baby, why are you less gratifying than a cigarette?

I walk the dog in the daytime

in the night I call the cat

I've got nothing to do but eat

and now I'm getting fat

I hold a sweater in my lap

and slowly pick out all the fuzz

(spoken) Baby, why can't you give something more than that old nicotine buzz?

Cause I'm lost for the reason

that you make me so blue

(spoken) Baby, why would I rather have a Camel than be with you?

I'd rather smoke

ooooh I'd rather smoke

I'd rather smoke

yeah yeah I'd rather smoke

(early '86)