Friday

This is My Life


A poem day
a stifling, hot, hateful day
a day for the city to sweat from its own hot air

A journey inward
trying, trying for a good feeling
zombies running in a term paper maze
be exact
do it right
this is your life

sleepless nights 
daytime haze
tomorrow looks gray is today already

stomach hurts
wanting to double over
wanting to forget for just one moment the constricting
walls of this prison

nervous laughter
no real smiles
tears from unknown wells

broken bonds
broken promises
plastic people in pastel cages
this is my life

a whisper from a distant realm of my heart
tells me to find peace

no peace
only aching moments
only tomorrow is tomorrow is another day
but not a new one
trying to see beyond the deadline
to life again
everyone wilts beneath the pressure

not today -
tomorrow, I'll try
only promises to myself

take a bow
for something real
one day off is all I need - 
one night on the town
but no one sees the real thing
their heads are turned down
to the words
the words mean well
but are destroyed

I've come so far so fast
and now, what's this?
it is not yet time to break loose
another week and I'll be complete
holding out and holding on

night and day come as extremes
I wanted summer until it arrived
now, I'd do anything for a cold winter
summer only brings fall
and downfall

I will see it through
I will live again
it will happen, I know

Egypt to Falsetto
Falstaff to Francke
Goethe to Hearst
nothing more in this place
but this is my life
I will see it through

- April 27, 1984, A.D.

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