Hemingway

I went to sleep with "The Old Man and the Sea"

I woke up with "The Old Man and the Sea"

and nothing had happened while I was gone

this is what I think of Hemingway

- May 8, 1984, A.D.

Bedroom from a dream

Dream 2

The vision:

there is a purple-blue sky with pale stars

and in the distance,

a huge eye begins to open

from beneath the eyelid comes

not an eye

but a planet where the eye should be

a pale greenish-yellow-white planet

that's watching me

Although it's warm outside,

the trees speak late Autumn or Winter

There are little half-consciousness who,

as the rays of this planet hit them,

run off like animated goblins,

looking for a dark place to hide

which leaves only me

I remember from a film about the Holocaust

the phrase, "War nods, but has one eye open"

Is this that eye?

it bears a striking resemblance to Earth

If that is Earth,

where am I?

on my own planet, far, far away

my own world

the Earth sheds a light on me

is this the eye of war, as spoken?

is this what I should fear?

it captivates me

but I feel as though I should 

run away with the others

like the moon, coming out of an eclipse,

it watches

but dark corners are still dark corners

and my world remains intact.

- May 7, 1984, A.D.

The Boy and the Girl Who Let it Be

A river of tears spilled out of his desk. the others turned and gazed. There was no way to cover up his embarrassment. He tried to stop it, but at last, let it go. Girls and boys alike picked up their feet and let the river run by. Only one girl kept both feet on the floor and let the water wash over them. The other children climbed over desks and chairs to reach the door or the windows. The boy looked over at the girl, who in turn opened her desk and let loose her own river. Their tears flowed into one and filled the room, and ran out the door. The connection had been made.

The two children then ran through the room, opening desks of the ones long gone, filled with nameless tears. The girl walked back to her desk and dipped her hands in. She offered the boy a drink. He drank slowly and sparingly, and when finished, he went over to his desk and came back, hands cupped, with his own share of tears. The girl savored each tender drop, and they fell to the floor and immersed themselves in the river.

The tears dried, and the girl began to speak. The words fell out of her mouth to form meadows and forests and babbling brooks; and flowers of the brightest hues of yellow, orange, and purple. In response, the boy uttered mountains, valleys, rain forests, apple orchards that blossomed in spring and maple trees that turned the colors of fire in Autumn.

All at once, the classroom became overgrown. The walls disintegrated, and sunshine crept in. The desks became trees, and the chalkboards, boulders. The two children laughed as they looked around at what they had created, and they ran into the woods, leaving old memories of walled rooms and lives to fade away into distant rays of sun that bounced back and forth between the trees and touched every dark corner of the forest. At last, freedom was theirs, as they joined together and united with the sun.

- May 7, 1984, A.D.

Dream

The vision:

a dream of isolation

without fear

ice

the rider dies of cold

but the horse continues on

I am the horse

I walk

and there are ice formations

in the snow

I meet a friend

and flowers -

the most beautiful, colorful flowers-

rise up before our eyes

into the house

they grow

outside the front window

no children play

all are gone

humanity left with no forwarding address

but just a dream

the flowers fade

check in the refrigerator

the light's on

and there's tuna fish in

the burner works

and children ride bikes down the street.

- May 7, 1984, A.D.

Apology

Dear Dave,

I'm a horrible, stupid person

and I love you.

- Sharon

- April 27, 1984, A.D.

This is My Life

A poem day

a stifling, hot, hateful day

a day for the city to sweat from its own hot air

A journey inward

trying, trying for a good feeling

zombies running in a term paper maze

be exact

do it right

this is your life

sleepless nights 

daytime haze

tomorrow looks gray is today already

stomach hurts

wanting to double over

wanting to forget for just one moment the constricting

walls of this prison

nervous laughter

no real smiles

tears from unknown wells

broken bonds

broken promises

plastic people in pastel cages

this is my life

a whisper from a distant realm of my heart

tells me to find peace

no peace

only aching moments

only tomorrow is tomorrow is another day

but not a new one

trying to see beyond the deadline

to life again

everyone wilts beneath the pressure

not today -

tomorrow, I'll try

only promises to myself

take a bow

for something real

one day off is all I need - 

one night on the town

but no one sees the real thing

their heads are turned down

to the words

the words mean well

but are destroyed

I've come so far so fast

and now, what's this?

it is not yet time to break loose

another week and I'll be complete

holding out and holding on

night and day come as extremes

I wanted summer until it arrived

now, I'd do anything for a cold winter

summer only brings fall

and downfall

I will see it through

I will live again

it will happen, I know

Egypt to Falsetto

Falstaff to Francke

Goethe to Hearst

nothing more in this place

but this is my life

I will see it through

- April 27, 1984, A.D.