Satanic Snake Poison

My head feels one foot thick

I wonder if it was worth it. . .

Satanic drug spider's web

tunnel of horror

circle of fear

faces shaped by circus mirrors

pitch black

falling over

falling through

stepping over corpses

lights on

men in robes perform a plastic ritual in our very image

endless, well-rehearsed

colors flash

motion in a box

lights on, wander out, buy a shirt, wander home

past the witching hour

can't sleep

demons in my head

turn endless somersaults

force me to complete a thought

hours slip by

no sound

the mind keeps working itself over and over

daylight breaks

sleep - but wait!

another chain of thoughts begs remembrance

another hour

and I'm showering

change the date, it's now tomorrow

head swims

do this, do that, on the bus, in school

Satanic snake poison still in the system

blind to what I'm supposed to be

confused, twisted, everything done wrong

no one suspects until I've come completely down

I shouldn't be alive

there will be no tomorrow

unless I can sleep as soon as possible

my head feels one foot thick

I wonder if it was worth it. . .

- April 18, 1985, A.D.

Shift and Resist

I feel, somehow

lost

changed

confused

not unhappy

just. . . different

please please me

I feel good

but I don't know why

and I don't know why not

I feel melancholy

like a rainy spring day

yet I'm holding on to a piece of the sun

there is a brighter tomorrow

I don't know why things have to change

so I preserve yesterday in a little blue bottle

but it doesn't always make me feel any better

so please

please me

- April 18, 1985, A.D.

Unleash Thyself!

Ha, ha

I bet you thought I couldn't walk a straight line

but I rose above the ground;

to the people of another world,

my line was perfectly even

there are no boundaries

Ha, ha

I bet you thought you had me caged

but no one can cage the universal psyche

you'll feel pretty stupid once you realize:

the material world has no real ties

Ha, ha

You go out and buy groceries

while the canine is satisfied with dog biscuits

look again -

your twinkies are people biscuits

praise Hostess

praise Disney

praise Micky

praise Ronnie

praise God Almighty

we loved that intense resurrection trick

Play it again, Sam

Ha, ha

you'll never transcend from this world

if you make your own boundaries

praise Micky

praise Dicky

praise Julie

praise Chucky

uncanny

uncanny

A fish without a bicycle

"Ride me!  Ride me!"

the bicycle pleads

in the distance, a fish cries,

"I can't ride you until I get my caviar fixed."

Ha, ha

you can't believe what I just told you

you close your mind to the possibilities

you'll never believe

you'll never believe

in magic.

- April 6, 1985, A.D.

Troops

An array of cigarette corpses

lies dead on the floor

the aftermath of a cancer war

There's no more room in the ashtray -

no place to dispose of the sooty remains

no soldiers to pick up their dead brothers

only the nicotine stains

Salem, Marlboro, Camel, Winston

in. . . out, in. . . out

they terrify the lungs

smoke rises

ashes fall

people talk through the smoke

(they speak unrealistically about reality)

they carry their troops in packs from 9 to 5

they carry the power of their own shortened life spans

and no one gets out of here alive

- April 6, 1985, A.D.

Forgotten

There I stood in the house -

a maze of miniature rooms

hundreds of records sat against the wall:

no music was playing

hundreds of books lined the shelves:

no one was reading

what an empty feeling

a room so filled with culture left so neglected

so many worlds

so many unknown feelings

so many people with something to express

and no one with enough time to step

onto a new horizon

"Read me!"  "Play me!"

they softly cry

he grabs the thermos and walks out the door

locked in the house is a room full of visions

and no one to bring them to life.

- April 6, 1985, A.D.

Ode to Dali

Oh, don't you know?

Wouldn't you like to see the views thru my windows?

Wouldn't you like to see it thru my eyes for just one day?

Wouldn't you like to be another person for a while?

Oh, don't you know?

It would be so much fun

It would drive you insane

To try to retain you

while being me

You'd never want to live again

You'd drown in thoughts of suicide

to get the voices out of your mind

Oh, don't you know?

Wouldn't you like to jump into my dreams?

Wouldn't yo like to bathe in the vivid colors of my visions?

Oh, don't you know?

It would give you release

until you tensed up like a little child

"Let go!  Let go of me!" You'd cry

You'd run

But we would chase you

You'd run forever in the agonizing reality

that there is no escape

Oh, don't you know?

It's waiting for you

Everything I do will make you remember

Every piece of my art will drive you mad

with desire

with resistance

with a hunger that will envelop you

Oh, don't you know?

We'd have such a great time

I'm trying to find a way to show you

I'm trying to make you see

Wake up into my world!

And let me share my lunacy.

- April 6, 1985, A.D.

A Reminder to My Friend the Artistic Genius

Alas, remember this:

No matter how you stand with the common man,

never play God to the mobs.

The temptation is selfism -

Do what you can to stay free from this sin -

Let others in.

If ever you find you don't have the time,

then stop.

We're all that you've got

to hold on to

Fame, fortune, and loving fans mean nothing

if you've lost the key:

Hold on to me.

Lost in the whirlpool, there's no time to decide whatever is best

just follow the tide -

and end up on an island.

It isn't as planned:

The island's unmanned, and you stand there alone -

a long way from home.

You have shunned, stepped on, and denied those who might

rescue you, now.

But how?

You thought you could make the journey alone

Fine!  Now give up the throne.

It isn't for you.

Your time was over as soon as you ignored the truth.

You lost the key:

Please, hold on to me.

There's no justification in the name of the art.

You'll be falling apart

before the year is over.

Don't look for a lover to stay by your side -

She'll be gone with the tide

unless you know what to do:

The key:

Hold on to you.

This isn't a threat, a plea or a promise,

But we are the commas

to shape the lyrics of your life.

Don't give us the knife -

we're not like the others.

We hold the light and the hope of your tomorrow

don't cause us the sorrow

that you've come to ignore.

What's more,

to begin the trip

start the engine of life's bus

with the key:

That's us.

It's a long ride ahead.

Prepare for the worst,

but strive for the best.

Your life is the test.

Don't take advantage of your resources,

then leave them behind.

Hold on to the key:

Make every "I"

"We".

- April 2, 1985, A.D.

Photos '85

Handling fears of nuke threat (article)

The source is unknown.  Possibly Bloomington's Daily Pantagraph.