The Only Gift

I want to give you something

but it's not as easy as just walking

to the store and buying it;

it requires some thought

and some feeling

I don't want to buy a record or a poster

or a book

I want to give you a part of me -

but I can't figure out which part that is

It seems like in all the time we've 

known each other,

there was never really an answer

who am I to you?

who are you to me?

I would like to tell you

but I don't even know

I know nothing but a feeling

I've been attached to you

since the first day I saw you

sometimes, things are revealed about the soul

more accurately when we are silent;

Before you ever spoke,

I was attached

I want to tell you more,

but I cannot place the feeling

what little we know of each other 

means all the world to me

in some strange, indefinable sense of the word,

I do love you

I would explain further,

but I haven't got a clue of how I 

came to this feeling;

Yet I am not wrong,

and it seems that I have always

felt this way.

Like two people in a room who think

they are being spied on,

we never exactly told the truth

I was so sure that something dangerous would happen 

if I revealed myself

now, I can only wonder where time ran off to,

when we could have talked to each other

So today, I am giving you this,

the truth -

or as close as I can come to it

because I don't want you to leave,

thinking something of me which is

entirely untrue

You couldn't have meant more to me

in the time that we had

and under the conditions which existed

And if there is a future for us,

I will try to help make it a good one

Or if we go our separate ways,

please understand that I'll never 

forget you

Not in a million years would I forget you...

- Jan. 9, 1985, A.D.