Please

I want to make your lips

and your arms

and your heart

a reality --

please help me.

I would love you,

but only at your consent;

I'm a fool for you

but not a fool;

I want to live in your dreams and desires,

but I want it to be real

please, --

love me

If you won't, then tell me now

while I still have time to run and hide

Don't leave me guessing --

not when you know I feel this way.

It's been so long I've wanted you at my side

please, --

help me

I would give everything I could

to make you a reality;

don't walk away

for once, don't just walk away

please --

love me.

- Sept. 13, 1984, A.D.

A Reminder (to Dave)

psychedelic afternoon

in the daytime breeze

on the gritty beach by the bay

old lovers, old friends

but most of all, you

not enough time to bring back the past

only enough time to bring back memories

and wish

we are the radicals

the future Bohemians

we are the artists

together

someday, we'll make it

we know

midwestern dreams won't hold us in

the dreams we share can take us somewhere

together

I always wondered what would happen

when we split apart

and now I know

we've got the bond that will hold forever

hold on, hold on...

we are the young ones

and the strong ones

we are alive

and someday we're going to travel the road

to our dreams

together

hold on...

- August 11, 1984, A.D.

Adding Up

2 good

+ 2 be

--------------

4 told in a kiss

2 great

+ 2 be

--------------

4 gotten

2 great

+ 2 have it

----------------

as good as this

I should

+ do this

----------------

more often

- July 22, 1984, A.D.

Strangers on a Napkin

Strangers on a napkin

lie together

in perfect paper peace

in love with the moment,

not to think of tomorrow's chili stains

they escaped the picnic

by the breath of a summer breeze

and blew silently about the park

in wistful contentment

lovers of a wasps lost fantasy

or the bark of a birch tree

or the memory of a patty field

a frightening exchange of glances

a flush of the cheeks means we've

been looking at each other

we toss and spin on the whispering wind

and lose ourselves in nature's party

but when we stick on a tree

there is a chance that we might

have to find each other

and what then?

Part Two:  The Revelation

Sitting numbly about the firelight

gazing towards distant stars

or rolling my eyes back into my head

to ponder the mystery of you

in a room full of friends,

I drift off for a moment

to think of a stranger

Looking at an ad for cigarettes,

I find ultimate truth

one type will see the picture

and move on to the 

next page

and the other will spend the time

to hear the conversation held there

And here we have the inevitable warning

but I would replace the words "cigarette smoking"

with "love"

Part Three:  Another Question

What motivates?

What motivates the Christians to believe they have a god

other than themselves?

What motivates the "sinner" to be born again?

And what motivates me to seek a vein

of truth?

I cannot see for the blindness of my yearning

I cannot breathe for to put out the pilot light

Where am I here?

Who is it I want?

Why do I hold myself back from

the most obvious things?

And you, and you, and you

will be in my heart forever

Part Four:  Last Chances

And why a love poem?

why, when I have yet to see love straight on?

Why, when I know that the magic

will be gone with the poem?

Because I know the the poem

will be gone with the magic,

perhaps

It is good, this effort to love another

is good what matters?

Oh look!  A shadow of a man in the distance!

and I wonder more of him than

of the foreground?

What does he read?

What does he do?

again, I think of you,

imbedded forever

in a place of perfect paper piece.

- July 11, 1984

[written on a napkin from Steak N' Shake]

Changing the Love Game

I spend most of my time stargazing...

is that a twinkle in your eyes?

it's close enough

I'm gazing again...

want me,

but don't try to capture me

that's always when love turns sour

and yet I want a chase

you know I do

I hope you never take your beautiful eyes

off of me

you ask,

"who is this captivating stranger?"

but I give you no answers

I want to keep you guessing

it's my love game

months from now, I will regret

that I talked too much,

I played too much,

and how calculatingly I worked myself around giving

I want a challenge

I want you to somehow teach me a different

love game

I wish you knew how

I wish I knew how

to break away the "me" wall in my life

And all those to whom I would have given the world,

I somehow lost

I always search for the romance of the stranger

when real people bore me

and I fool myself into believing that this is

a better love

but perhaps the stranger knows

and that's why I lose him

Granted, I am young

but there are things I know I must learn

I want to learn

I just don't know how

teach me to be your lover, and I will

reward you with the best feelings anyone

could have

equality, understanding, security, contentment -

the elements of love

my heart with yours

I just need a lesson or two

to make me change my ways

I've picked up a few bad habits here and there

and I want to do better next time

I want to begin with you

- July 8, 1984, A.D.

Punchline

Newsflash -

do you care?

laughter

jokes

so where is El Salvador, anyway?

I dunno, but didja hear the one about...?

no, no

I didn't hear

I only hear the ones about the refugees 

and the political prisoners

and they always seem to end in death

that's the punchline

- what's yours?

- June 22, 1984, A.D.

Summer Breathes

Summer breathes

it sighs down my neck

it whispers cool remembrances in the night

in the night, there is escape

sometimes a breeze

perhaps a rainstorm to cool and dry the air

but morning thaws

and afternoon grows heavy and long

in the house, there is little movement

some sleep

some watch the clock

tick tock, tick tock

cuckoo

and I try not to move, not to sweat

outside, children frolic in pools

and run out of houses slurping and sloshing

with fruit running down their arms

while others engage themselves in the great

pursuit of skin cancer

and I sit silently in reflection

I lie like a cat in the afternoon heat

a thought can last a million years

when summer breathes

- June 22, 1984, A.D.