Photos at the end of the decade

Floor Plan (From a Dream)

Storyboard, Film Tech I (partial)

Bolex 16mm Camera

Photos '87

Sketch '87

Sharon's Amazing List of Things She Wants!!

A Very Curious Random List

I have no idea what this is about:

Photo '86

Sketches '86

More Photos '85

The only picture of me playing my drum set.  

Okay, also one of the only times I actually played my drum set.

And yes, I dyed my hair black.

Remembering 1985

Photos '85

Excerpt from "Demian", by Herman Hesse

"Like most parents, mine were no help with the new problems of puberty, to which no reference was made. All they did was take endless trouble in supporting my hopeless attempts to deny reality and to continue dwelling in a childhood world that was becoming more and more unreal. I have no idea whether parents can be of help, and I do not blame mine. It was my own affair to come to terms with myself and to find my own way, and like most well-brought-up children, I managed it badly.

"Everyone goes through this crisis. For the average person, this is the point when the demands of his own life come into the sharpest conflict with his environment, when the way forward has to be sought with the bitterest means at his command. Many people experience the dying and rebirth - which is our fate - only this once during their entire life. Their childhood becomes hollow and gradually collapses, everything they love abandons them and they suddenly feel surrounded by the loneliness and mortal cold of the universe. Very many are caught forever in this impasse, and for the rest of their lives cling painfully to an irrevocable past, the dream of the lost paradise - which is the worst and most ruthless of dreams."

Quotes from "Illusions", by Richard Bach

You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however. 

---

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours. 

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If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats. 

---

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums.
It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages. 

---

Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you. 

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In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice. 

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The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, "I've got responsibilities." 

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The truth you speak has no past and no future. It is, and that's all it needs to be. 

---

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't. 

Not One Of Us, by Peter Gabriel (lyrics)

It's only water
In a stranger's tear
Looks are deceptive
But distinctions are clear
A foreign body
And a foreign mind
Never welcome
In the land of the blind
You may look like we do
Talk like we do
But you know how it is

You're not one of us
Not one of us
No you're not one of us
Not one of us
Not one of us
No you're not one of us

There's safety in numbers
When you learn to divide
How can we be in
If there is no outside
All shades of opinion
Feed an open mind
But your values are twisted
Let us help you unwind
You may look like we do
Talk like we do
-But you know how it is

You're not one of us
Not one of us
No you're not one of us

(1980)

(copied into 1985 notebook)

Them Heavy People, by Kate Bush (lyrics)

Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me. 
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me. 

They arrived at an inconvenient time. 
I was hiding in a room in my mind. 
They made me look at myself. I saw it well. 
I'd shut the people out of my life. 

So now I take the opportunities: 
Wonderful teachers ready to teach me. 
I must work on my mind. For now I realise: 
Everyone of us has a heaven inside. 

Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. 
Them heavy people help me. 
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. 
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me. 

They open doorways that I thought were shut for good. 
They read me Gurdjieff and Jesu. 
They build up my body, break me emotionally. 
It's nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling! 

I love the whirling of the dervishes. 
I love the beauty of rare innocence. 
You don't need no crystal ball, 
Don't fall for a magic wand. 
We humans got it all, we perform the miracles. 

Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. 
Them heavy people help me. 
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot. 
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me. 
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me. 
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball... 

(1978)

(copied into 1985 notebook)

Tracks, by Gary Numan (lyrics)

Where are the tracks?

Where are the lines?

Where are the tracks?

Where is the time?

You were so cold

You were so slow

And we were so old

And we were unsure.

And I want your lines

And I want your time

And I want your face

And you can have mine.

(1979)

(copied into 1985 notebook)

Rock N' Roll Suicide, By David Bowie (lyrics)

Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth
You pull on your finger, then another finger, then your cigarette
The wall-to-wall is calling, it lingers, then you forget
Ohhh how how how, you're a rock 'n' roll suicide

You're too old to lose it, too young to choose it
And the clocks waits so patiently on your song
You walk past a cafe but you don't eat when you've lived too long
Oh, no, no, no, you're a rock 'n' roll suicide

Chev brakes are snarling as you stumble across the road
But the day breaks instead so you hurry home
Don't let the sun blast your shadow
Don't let the milk float ride your mind
You're so natural - religiously unkind

Oh no love! you're not alone
You're watching yourself but you're too unfair
You got your head all tangled up but if I could only
make you care
Oh no love! you're not alone
No matter what or who you've been
No matter when or where you've seen
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain
You're not alone 

Just turn on with me and you're not alone 
Let's turn on with me and you're not alone (wonderful)
Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful (wonderful)
Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful (wonderful)
Oh gimme your hands.

(1972)

(copied into 1985 notebook)

Crossroads, by Don McLean (lyrics)

I've got nothing on my mind: Nothing to remember, 

Nothing to forget. And I've got nothing to regret, 

But I'm all tied up on the inside, 

No one knows quite what I've got; 

And I know that on the outside 

What I used to be, I'm not anymore. 

You know I've heard about people like me, 

But I never made the connection. 

They walk one road to set them free 

And find they've gone the wrong direction. 

But there's no need for turning back 

`Cause all roads lead to where I stand. 

And I believe I'll walk them all 

No matter what I may have planned. 

Can you remember who I was? Can you still feel it? 

Can you find my pain? Can you heal it? 

Then lay your hands upon me now 

And cast this darkness from my soul. 

You alone can light my way. 

You alone can make me whole once again. 

We've walked both sides of every street 

Through all kinds of windy weather. 

But that was never our defeat 

As long as we could walk together. 

So there's no need for turning back 

`Cause all roads lead to where we stand. 

And I believe we'll walk them all 

No matter what we may have planned.

(1971)

(copied into 1985 notebook)